Narendra modi & Obama were talking in a bar.

A guy came in n asked them wats d discussion about???
Modi: v r planning to kill 14 crore pakistanis & sunny leone!!

Guy: why Sunny Leone??

Suddenly Modi tells Obama: See I told u nobody would care about 14 crore pakistanis!!!!!!!

# पत्नी ने साधू बाबा से घर की खुशहाली के लिए उपाय पूछा ..
साधु बाबा : बेटी, पहली रोटी गाय को खिलाया करो और आखिरी रोटी घर में रहने वाली किसी बिल्ली को..
पत्नी : बाबा, मैं ठीक ऐसा ही करती हूँ, पर कुछ लाभ नहीं हो रहा… पहली रोटी खुद खाती हूँ और आखिरी रोटी उन्हें खिलाती हूँ ..!!

One's a thin patient went to a doctor for medical checkup and consultation. He asked the doctor to examine him but at the same time don't laugh at him. Doctor said ok and asked about the problem. The patient raised his pants and put forward his sugarcane like legs before him and told that his legs are swollen due to pain. The doctor was shocked and couldn't help laughing.

Once Lord Shiva saw two drunked men and thought of teaching him the lesson.
He went and met them as a ordinary guy and said that i can drink unlimited alcohol and ll never get high. So those two guys accept the challenge then lord shiva said if u loose u have to stop drinking . then they all go to bar and lord shiva starts drinking but he was not getting high,then lord shiva saw that those two guys are desperate then shiva thought of telling him his who he is actually.

Then he say those guys that do you know who i am ? Those guys said no then lord shiva said i am god the lord shiva.

Now those guys get happy and said now he is getting high.

So a Malwadi( A community in India known for frugality and business acumen) girl and boy decide to elope.
They agree on a signal for the boy to know that the girl is alone in the house and its safe for the boy to come in and take the luggage.
The signal being that he girl will throw a coin and the noise of the coin would let the boy know.
So the girl throws the coin and waits for the boy to come inside.
The boy doesn't come in for 15 mins. Confused she goes outside to look for the boy who tells her , he is looking for the coin!!!!!!
The girl says did you forget I am Malwadi too, I tied the coin to a thread and pulled it back as soon as I heard the coin drop noise!!!!!

Made for each other!

• ताऊ hospital गए इलाज़ करवाने
  नर्स: लम्बी साँस लो
  ताऊ ने लम्बी सांस ली
  नर्स: कैसा महसूस हो रहा है
  ताऊ : कौण सा perfume लगा कर आई है मज़ा आ गया

• सुबह एक महिला फल वाले से अंग्रेजी में फल मांग रही थी ये बोलकर – “Give me some destroyed husband” एक घंटा लगा यह समझने में कि वह “नाशपति ” मांग रही थी।
• संता सौचालय में बैठा था, सामने लिखा था – कृपया पानी का ज्यादा से ज्यादा इस्तेमाल करें यह पढ़कर संता बैठे बैठे चार डिब्बे पानी पी गया.